Life coaching method for your growth, empowerment and fulfillment

How you can take your life to the next level.

This is the place to learn, how to learn what you don't know about yourself!

This is the place to learn, how to be a creator of your life, to be and achieve every thing you want!

Would you like to learn how to do it?

I would like to introduce you to the "Coach Yourself" method.

This "Coach yourself" version you can do in your own time, at your own pace, and at your own intensity.

You can do it yourself, with some guidance and simple tools and, of course, with some practice and commitment for personal growth.

Human lives are relationships. There is nothing in our lives that is not relationships. We are in relationships with ourselves, with our body, with the universe, with God, with our belongings, with nature, with our pets, with our work... and of course, with other people.

Relationships involve communication. In my opinion, the most important communication skill, and at the same time the most neglected, is the communication with ourselves.

Our "inner" communication affects the outer world and vice-versa. The information goes in circles in&out incessantly, carries all our experiences and triggers our personal development.

This is the base of the coach-yourself system.

Coaching is a way of life

Coaching is a constant active process of transformation and creation in which you ask yourself questions, you listen, think, decide, and act - and then you do it all over again - as a never ending story.

It is a process in which the coachee brings his passion, desires and powers to materialize and maximizes his abilities and potentials to fully express himself and to achieve extraordinary achievements.

The coaching process I represent here has a general universal goal of improving ones quality of life, finding inner peace and self fulfillment.

This road is very practical. It is a Method. a Tool, a Technique!

For the last 25 years I have been learning and teaching the areas of awareness, empowerment and creation.

I started with B.A in behavioral since. Afterwards I looked for different kind of knowledge.

I took a course of "introduction to Kabala". That was a turning point – I started my spiritual journey and never stopped learning since.

At this journey, it is most common for the passenger to start looking for answers outside, to look for "the right way", "to look for the "truth". Then, after some time and some miles, he finds out that THERE IS NO WAY TO GO, NO TRUTH TO REVEAL BUT ONLY HIS OWN WAY AND HIS OWN TRUTH.

Then, the inner journey takes control.

This is the most satisfying, interesting, never ending, journey one can do.

This road took me to be a "Spiritual coach" which was pretty much a personal coach.

My formal coach training is from Bar-Ilan University and another advanced coaching course which I took afterwards.

My coaching system is a combination of coaching and spiritual techniques, "The diamond coaching system", and it is based on "The Law of Attraction".

The law of attraction - "Like attracts like"

is a fundamental law of the universe.

What is so beautiful about it, is that it gives us the freedom to create our reality. It gives us control of our lives. It gives us the tools to change reality.

The responsibilities we take over our life will paradoxically bring us more freedom.

Since what ever you attract into your life is "like you", Two secondary laws are following:

THE LAW OF BOOMERANG- Whatever you send, returns to you multiplied.

THE LAW OF MIRRORS - Whatever exists outside of you, is your reflection.

Those three laws are the basis of this "coach yourself" technique. I draw a scheme here - "Diamond Coaching System" to show how the process works.

You can see the in & out interactions and the stream of communication between the outside world that reflects the inner world and vice-versa. Every change in one component changes the whole system and create different outcome, meanning different reality.

Click here to see the "Diamond Coaching System"

The law of mirrors

The mirror technique makes a difference in how you perceive and use the "Law of Attraction".

For me, The "Law of Mirrors" is the MASTER KEY to the door for transformation.

You probably have often wondered why so many people know the "Law of Attraction" and try to use it in their lives, but fail to create their "desired outcome".

The answer is that although they think they know their desired outcome, a part of them rejects it. This part:

Has a much wider perspective on their mission in life,
Has its own plans,
Unknown fears,
Unconscious myths, beliefs and desires that are much more compelling than their conscious ones.

But there is more to it:

We tend to tell ourselves unrealistic, imaginary stories about our life, about who we are. In order to solve inner conflicts and dissonance, to ignore what is inconvenient to face, to keep the status-quo even if our life is a mess. We prefer to suffer, rather than opening our eyes and face our reality as it is, or seeing ourselves as we are.

Those can be revealed by the " Magic Mirror"!!!!

The archetype of the "Magic Mirror" as a truth's reflector appears in the story of "Snow-White and the Seven Dwarfs".

The queen has a relationship with her "Magic Mirror". She asks the mirror questions to learn about the truth.

The mirror does not have a personality or own-interest, but only represents the truth!!!!

"A year passed away, and the king took another wife. She was very beautiful, but so proud and haughty that she could not bear to be surpassed in beauty by anyone.

She possessed a wonderful mirror which could answer her when she stood before it and said:

"Mirror, mirror upon the wall, Who is the fairest of all?"

The mirror answered:

"Thou, O Queen, art the fairest of all."

And the Queen was contented, because she knew the mirror could speak nothing but the truth.

But as time passed on, Little Snow-White grew more and more beautiful, until when she was seven years old, she was as lovely as the bright day, and still lovelier than the Queen herself, so that when the lady one day asked her mirror:

"Mirror, mirror upon the wall, who is the fairest fair of all?"

It answered:

"O Lady Queen, though fair ye be, Snow-White is fairer far to see"

The "Magic Mirror"reveals those parts of you that you are totaly uwaware of, the parts that are hidden and you are not familiar with.

What is, then, the "Law of Mirrors"?

Whatever exists outside of you is your reflection

If you wish your reflection to change, you have to change yourself first.

If you look at the mirror and you don't like your shirt, do you ask your reflection to put on another shirt?

It is so obvious that we can't change other people. Yet we are still trying to, by force, by manipulations or by persuasion.

This law gives us the opportunity and the freedom to create our own reality.

Think about it: You Can Change Anything!

This is Alchemy. This is magic.

The mirror technique as a Transformer of Reality:

This technique is neither linear nor logical.

Your mirror reflections are a great mystery which you have to reveal.

The reflection is not exactly a one-to-one experience .

The magic of this technique is that it reveals things you don't know about yourself, things that you are not even aware of.

If you knew how or why you bring chaos, problems, suffering etc. into your life, wouldn't you change it immediately?

Let's take a common situation of the work environment;

The client's files are placed in your office. One of your colleagues uses to come and look for documents in those files, for price quotations, agreements etc. This staff member leaves the file, or even two, open on your desk after using it and you must clean up after him. You have no choice, otherwise you can't work.

You ask him politely once, twice, you ask him aggressively, he agrees with you, but his actual behavior does not change.

Every time that he leaves a file on your desk you get furious.

(Similar situations could happen at home with different ditails).

This is a mirror for you! Your "Magic Mirror"!

You are absolutely sure that this is not your reflection.

You would never dirty or mess your surroundings at work or anywhere else, you are a considerate person and you have good manners.

Yes, you are right about that, but it is still your reflection.

How? That is what you are going to learn here.

A mirror is not about the details of a situation, but about the essence behind the details.

Now, let's go deeper:

Since your surrounding mirrors your reflections, you will be flooded and very confused by so many of them.

You must decide which reflections are the most significant ones for you to focus on and to analyze,

Every reflection, every thing that strikes you, every situation and every person that raises some kind of strong feelings or recurrent thoughts in you, are important mirrors to consider.

Otherwise you would have been indifferent to the person/situation or not even have noticed it.

When things or events evoke strong feelings or thoughts, it must be your reflection.

You can't decide whether a certain mirror is not relevant to you;

You can't select mirrors, even if, on the surface it doesn't look close to being a reflection of you.

An example:

You have a close friend whom you meet often, for a small talk in a coffee shop, for a movie, etc. You like to spend time together, to talk…

Some times your friend enters your car (or you enter her car) and say: "Do you mind to stop in the… for few minutes, I have to…

Or she brings her child with her and says: "Do you mind if we drop him at his friend's house" or whatever…

Or "I must drop this letter in the way…"

Or she brings a third friend and say: "I invited Maria to our meeting…"

Since this repeats itself, you are angry and feel exploited.

This feeling is the reason for using the mirror technique!

The thought that this is your reflection raises resistance.

No way! I am not like this! This is not my reflection!

If you can't accept it, or can't cosider it as a reflection of yourself, due to strong resistance – you will loose important information about yourself!

This is the secret or the magic of this technique.

It is definitely your reflection!!!

You must accept it as 100% true. You must accept it as a rule of the Universe. Otherwise you'll remain blinded…

It could be something that you prefer to be blind to (since the reflection reveals a "bad" quality or personality and you think of yourself as a "good" person).

If you are in denial for some mirrors and choose only part of them, then the technique is not beneficial to you.

In that case you remain in your state of blindness, of not seeing what you usually do not see and you want change.

The second step – Analyze the reflection.

You ask yourself:

What do I see in the mirror?

Answer: I see a person/situation that….

Now you list what you see:

For example: What do I see in the mirror (of using our time together for other arraignments)?

I see a person that/who is:

Has no value for other people time.
Can't see the other as person with own need but only as a tool to serve his needs.
Takes control on the situation by manipulations.
Captured you in a situation you do not have much of a choice unless you'll react "aggressively" and say No.
Has a borders issue.

And you go on specifying the things you see in this mirror.

Now, you turn the mirror to yourself.

What do the things that I just wrote down have to do with me? How?

Remember, the reflection is not one-to-one.

Not the details are important – the essence, the quality behind the details is.

It could be that you do not have a "clear borders between your needs and other people interest and you are egocentric" but it manifests itself in a different ways.

Could be that you are a person that uses and manipulates others.

Could be that you do not respect other people resources: Time, Money, Efforts, Talents etc.

On the other hand, this could reflect that you do not honor your own time; you tend to suppress your needs in order to satisfy others and you haven't got clear borders.

Only you can know what possibility is really touching you and makes sense for you.

This Mirror Technique is like a riddle, a kind of playing detective …

If you do not find the essence of the mirror – you leave it as an open question; the universe will send you the answer.

Alternatively – try to look for similar mirrors or situations in your life and find the common denominator of them all.

The law of attraction means that you must attract to your life the same mirrors again and again and until you change yourself, those mirrors will keep coming into your life.

Note:

Mirrors reflect the present.

They are not in the past.

If you have a reflection, it exists now!

To analyze reflections we need to refer to another law.

The law of polarity:

Every phenomenon, in this world, has two poles.

For the mirror technique, this law of polarity is very important:

Opposites are the same - they are the +/- on the same quality sequence. ("Both sides of the same coin").

Let's go back to the office/files example:

Ask yourself: What do I see in this mirror?

It might be several options:

This man is scattered and does not pay attention. (If that is the case it will be manifested also in other aspects of his work).
This man is lazy, sloppy or careless and has a habit not to finish assignments.
This man is Abuser and is doing it on purpose.

Now, you turn the mirror to yourself.

What do the things that I just wrote down have to do with me? How?

In my opinion, the Abuser option is probably the right one. If you'll take this option a little bit deeper, it indicates on an "attrition war" between you both (over power or Influence or …) and I can assume that you are not an "innocent victim". You should check your own abusive behaviors.

Through this small example, you can see how the Mirror reflection turned the picture, and exposed underground streams.

Beliefs create reality

When you work with the mirror technique, your reflection can reveal several dimensions.

The deepest level of reflection is the reflection of beliefs and motivations (which are affected by beliefs).

More then that, beliefs are such a fundamental, an elementary part of our personality, that they actually are the source of our values, feelings, thoughts, and actions.

In order to arrive at such a deep level of the mirror reflection we need to practice the "watcher" or "observer" perspective. To take the stand of a "third party" who is looking at the situation from the outside.

From this point of view you can "see" or maybe "understand" the motivation of your "mirror".

Assuming this reflection of you is not a reflection of your behavior (although it might be a behavior that you are not aware of) but a reflection of your core beliefs, values and attitude to life, this leads you to meet your own core beliefs and give you the ability to "see", understand and get an "insight" into this cycle of "old beliefs that create the same reality over and over again".

Remember,

You can never change other people .

You only can change yourself.

When you find your own relevant belief and you reprogram your brain with new ones – the mirror will change or disappear from your life.

If you keep holding on to your old beliefs, similar mirrors will keep coming…

Some years ago I had an insight into one of my own "undercover" motivations: Competition.

This insight came to me through a reflection of one of my trainees.

I was raised as a child to be nice and gentile. I shouldn't be too smart or too anything since it will cause uneasiness to others. If one wants to be loved one must strive for peace and harmony. That means 'No competition'.

I also learned that if one is really good one does not need to brag about it or to be competitive. Competition is for the mediocre. It was some kind of arrogance that made competition something of which to be ashamed.

So I was in a deep denial of my own competitive character, using spiritual philosophy to make 'non-competition' a value.

And then I met her. She was a young woman in her 30's, and was being treated by a psychiatrist after having an anxiety attack. She came to me to help her to focus and find a new direction.

The direct cause, or the trigger, of this anxiety attack was a chain of events that accrued at work. She was her boss' favorite and the customers' favorite. She enjoyed considerable authority to deal with suppliers, customers and other workers. She was the 'first lady', the 'most beloved child'.

The problems began when a new saleswoman started working there. Not only she was good looking, but she was also good at selling, and was soon admired by everyone. The boss started paying her special attention, and the competition began…

The games and drama reached a new climax when my trainee asked for a big salary raise (to prove to herself that she was still on top) and her boss gave her only small raise. She left, and after few days he called her and, with many compliments, offered her a slightly larger raise. She returned to work; the two women continued struggling for the boss' attention. Unconsciously, he was playing with both of them until her jealousy was so great and she became so furious that she had an anxiety attack and stopped working.

It was first time in my life that I witnessed such jealousy and strong competition. But the fact that this trainee was the third trainee for whom competition was a dominant motivation in life I decided to check this mirror reflection. At that stage, I held such strong anti-competition values, that I really needed a strong will and absolute faith in the mirror technique, in order to open my eyes and my heart to the possibility that under my tranquil personality I am hiding a sophisticated hidden mechanism of competition.

It took me some more time to uncover this sophisticated mechanism and to re-evaluate my values and to find a way to embrace this character and use it as a force to strive for excellence.

You see, on the issue of competition, I needed very "strong" Reflection to open my eyes. Some times, we notice the reflection only after four or five or ten of them. It depends not only on our skills on this technique, but also on the fact of how deep are the unaware characteristics.

I do not promise that this is easy to do.

It needs practice. But practice is the "coach yourself" system,

I give you the tools; the rest is in your hands, exactly like in sport.

This is really worth a try. Finding your underground believes can change your life dramatically.

Just imagine what life you are creating for yourself if you are holding the personal belief that "The world is a jungle and only the strongest survive" or "Dog eat Dog" etc.

My e-book "Coach Yourself" is a broad guide of using this coaching system I represent here. If you wish to practice this method you need some more guidance than this tasting.

Additional subjects in the e-book: Criticism, Fear, Comfort zone, leadership and more.

I deeply recommend to purchase it. (Click here to order).

Change in habits and patterns needs effort, courage, discipline and focus. But this responsibility on your life is paradoxically your personal freedom to make your authentic choices.

You can start right away. Now!

At the end of each day, ask yourself: how was my day? Did I have an important Mirror reflection, something that raised feelings or caught my special attention?

If you did your best but still find it difficult to understand a reflection, I invite you to send me a message (e-mail: irit@coach-yourself.biz) with the points of the case and of what you see in the mirror (I see a person who is… Etc.) and I'll do my best to help. (Take example from the case studies).

Click here to read some interesting articles

Back to Top